Morale

Here's how it's going.  I'm on the brink of getting my Master's degree in Teaching French and ESL which is what I want to do.  I am starting to look for jobs.  I am single.  I could go anywhere and do anything (within the realm of teaching French or ESL/EFL).  And I am miserable.

I have spent the last year and a half back at home in Durham, North Carolina to better myself and my prospects.  What I have found, as a result, is that my job prospects are not so good and that I left, perhaps, my best companion in France.  Isn't this all so ironic?

What I am feeling is probably not unreasonable but it seems like I should be a little happier.  I mean I'm getting a Master's degree, in the field that interests me!  I'm a much better teacher than I was before I started a Master's.  Isn't that supposed to make me happy?  Aren't I supposed to be celebrating?  I guess it would be a little easier if I had a couple job offers but in the world of teaching world languages, there are so few jobs.  I knew that when I started this Master's.  I just wanted to give myself some credentials to teach in my home country.  Maybe I should just leave again and go to a country that has language jobs and where they value teachers.  But that would mean picking up and starting all over again.

Leaving is what I am good at.  Staying is a challenge.  I still can't figure out which one is more rewarding.  So I'll leave it up to what opportunities come my way.  And in the meantime, I'll write my Benjamin Franklin list going through the positives and negatives of leaving/staying.  That may ease my worries a little and it will make me feel a bit more productive than I have been today.  I am determined to find something to make me smile before this day is over.